Oddblag

Red 1987 ford ranger, $800

In June 2006, I bought a red 1987 Ranger and have used it successfully all that time, but now I’ve had it with keeping the windows down to keep the windshield from fogging up in the morning when it’s below freezing outside. I hereby resign from the dudes with trucks club.

All this can be yours for the paltry sum of $800.

I’m getting rid of it because I wanted a newer car that wouldn’t have the following problems:

• This thing doesn’t have a heater, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s really cold. This means there’s no defroster, and the windows may fog up on you. I was thinking about getting something like this: http://www.ground-z.org/electronics/vehicle/heater.html.
• The A/C doesn’t actually blow cool air. It sort of blows air from the engine compartment if you turn it on. It’s best if you don’t use the fan at all if you don’t have to. Crank the windows down in the summer and step on it!
• Speaking of stepping on it, if you’re a freeway driver, you’d better step on it really hard, because this is the most gutless vehicle I’ve ever driven. I seriously would take the back way to Ashland sometimes. It can do 75 if you give it a while, but 65 is almost asking too much.
• At one point in the past I discovered that it had no catalytic converter and would never pass I&M standards. However, the car is now legal to own in city limits due to its advanced age.
• My wife’s afraid to drive the thing because it doesn’t have power steering and the stick is too difficult for a short person to use, I guess.
• People are always asking me to help them move stuff. That’s true for all trucks, though.

That said, it’s not an entirely bad truck and there are a couple of reasons it’s worth what I’m asking:

• Last minute guilt fixes: Replaced windshield wipers and broken blinker, so now it’s got working wipers and blinkers.
• Brakes are working very well.
• Never failed to start for me.
• Both doors lock, the windows work, nothing leaks.
• 5-speed is less likely to fall apart on you than an auto; I never had trouble with it, and the clutch was not too touchy.
• It can haul stuff! I once moved a small truckload of bricks and it worked fine. It’s got tie-down rails that are pretty useful for strapping stuff into the bed, and I’ll even throw in what’s left of my bungie ties, since my hauling days are done.
• It’s got a totally bad-ass 8-ball shifter and skulls for the door locks. Mystery switch on the dash is yours to explore.
• I replaced the door speakers with some that sound pretty good!
• The tires are OK but might be the next thing to replace. As I said, the brakes have been worked on.
• And the best part, you’ll never have to worry about dings or scratches on this thing because at this point it could only give the truck more character.

Shoot me an email with questions or whatever: sampowers@gmail.com